"Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be...."
Okay, so I'm not really going to talk about sex.....much
like most people in the world today. In today's society sex has become a taboo
topic. It's like the Voldemort of conversations....the conversation
that shall not be had. Well, I was lucky in that my parent were always very
open and honest, although I have to admit I mostly went to my older sister when
I needed advice or wanted to ask questions relating to sex. Despite society's
negative views of sex, I sincerely hope the tides are beginning to change.
I had the opportunity to attend and
volunteer for the 35th annual Brown Symposium titled Sex Talk – A
Symposium with benefits. I was fortunate enough to attend all talks as well as
the panel discussion. Below are my reflections for each speaker.
*I would like to note that I have attempted to remove as
much of my normal sass and sarcasm in attempts to give an honest and sincere
reflection of the speakers*
"Sex and Religion: What's the Connection?" - Reverend Debra Haffner
When I first saw that I would be
listening to a reverend talk about sex, I thought I was in for a boring, very
conservative religious lecture. However, after just the first five minutes I
was interested and intrigued by Rev. Haffner’s speech. I liked how she
introduced her beliefs as a common morality between religion and sex. I believe
this duality is a very good view because, as far back as I can remember I feel
as though religions have only attached shame to sex rather than talking about sex
in an understanding and nonthreatening manner. Moreover, I especially liked how
the Rev. pointed out the contradictions that exist between what is socially
accepted/practiced and what the bible scripture says. Specifically Rev.
Haffner, in attempts to rectify these preconceived notions of bible scripture
containing anti-gay messages (i.e., thus helping to bridge the religious
impasse she mentioned), recited scripture that supports the notion that the
bible does not just see marriage and something existing between just a man and
women or for procreation.
It was not only interesting that
the Rev. mentioned bible scripture that challenged preconceived notions of
anti-gay messages within the bible, but I think it was moving when the Rev.
mentioned Jesus. She posed the question of ‘what would Jesus do about gay
people?’ She then went on to answer that if he were here, he would love and welcome
them just as he does everyone else. This was one of the most moving and
compelling statements the Rev. made because I have always seen Jesus as one of
the most hypocritical notions within the bible. Jesus, as well as G-d, is said
to love and accept everyone, even with their flaws, however LBGTQ individuals
are the exception. This notion has always baffled me. This hypocrisy was
further underscored with the notion that within the bible polygamy was widely
practiced (Isaac is the exception) in contrast to monogamy, however we do not
socially accept such relationships – thus interestingly showing how sexuality
and sex is embraced within religious scripture. Overall I thought the Rev. was
able to preach and support the connection between religion and morality about
sex in one of the best ways I have seen yet. She ended her talk with the notion
that the sin it’s homosexuality, but homophobia. This was such a compelling
statement especially coming from a reverend. I think the Rev. was a well-spoken,
knowledgeable individual that I would gladly see again.
"Inter(dis)course: A Q&A on Sex and Politics" - Dan Savage
After going to the Dan Savage Q&A, I was reassured in my
original notion that Dan Savage is a passionate, funny, and well-spoken
individual. Even though Dan Savage did not give a speech, but rather chose to
conduct his talk during the symposium in a question and answer formation.
Without even knowing the questions beforehand Dan Savage was able to eloquently
answer any question thrown his way (even ones by the audience that were more of
an attack rather than an actual question). The humor Dan Savage adds is what I
truly think makes him a wonderful speaker. One of his best statements was when
he gave his opinions on the Texas government. “Yeah they want small government...government
small enough to fit in your vagina.” One of my other favorite statements Dan
Savage made was, “Homophobia is misogyny’s little brother.” This was something that completely made
sense once he said it, but was something I had never thought about.
"Sexuality Education from Birth to Death" - Pam Wilson
After hearing the first two speakers talk at the symposium, I
though to myself it is going to be very hard to top the last two talks, however
I was wrong. Pam Wilson, although she took a more academic approach to talking
about sex, was just as interesting as Dan Savage and Reverend Haffner. I think
she was one hundred percent correct in saying that in the past we have been
shamed when it comes to talking about sex. We have negative attitudes attached
to the sheer notion of talking about sex. Although my mother never went as far
as to tell me that I needed to wear undergarments at all times, even to bed,
there were still some things that were not to be discussed about sex. I like
when Pam said that we are sexual beings from birth to death and that we should
be aware of this when talking about the subject of sex.
One
of the most interesting parts of Pam Wilson’s talk was the circles of
sexuality. I had never heard of these circles before. The circles were broken
into sensuality, intimacy, sexual health and reproduction, sexual identity, and
sexualization. I had never thought of operationalizing the term sex into
categories such as these. However, as she was explaining them, it all made
sense to me and I thought it was a great way of structuring how we think and talk
about sex. Although this was a more academic approach to talking about sex thus
far in the symposium, I thought it was just as entertaining and interesting as
the two previous speeches.
"Sex the American Way: 10 Key Findings from Sex Research" - Debby Hernerick
When I first heard
that the Brown Symposium was going to be about sex, I thought I was going to
hear a lot more of the anatomical sex terms than I had heard up until the last
presenter (with the exception of the private Dan Savage Q&A). I thought the
research that Debby Herbenick presented was very interesting. The ten key
findings from sex research were tings that I wish I could have studied about in
research methods (although I know the IRB would not have approved). I was
shocked that some of the most avid condom users were younger individuals and
that as age increases condom use decreases. I would have never thought fourteen
year olds that are having sex would use condoms. Additionally, I was so shocked
and interested in the fact that respondents reported orgasms when exercising.
I’m sure that if we could figure out why this was occurring, more individuals
would exercise.
Despite
these interesting findings I think one of the best parts of he talk was when
she showed individuals responses to the statement ‘our favorite things about
sex’. Although, as expected, there were drastically different responses between
men and women, some of the responses were both sweet and funny. I think one of
my favorite responses was something to the effect of I like have sex when the
baby finally goes to sleep, I’m finally getting back at that cockblocker. I
almost died laughing at that response. I was saddened at the finding that many
women still feel compelled to have sex out of marital obligation, however I
hope this notion changes soon. I cannot wait to see what research Debby
Herbenick does next.
Panel Discussion
After listening to
all of the talks, it was hard for me to think of anything else the speakers had
left to say. However, I think Dr. Nenga did a wonderful job of moderating the
panel and asking new questions. I liked how although each of the speakers had
very different expertise or focuses concerning the topic of sex, when it came
time to answer the questions, they were all in agreement with their answers. I
thought getting the three different speakers opinions on each question was very
interesting. I wish there had been more time for audience questions but overall
the panel discussion was very informative and only added to how wonderful the
Sex Talk Symposium was.
I
could not help but laugh when I heard my friend say she felt bad for the first-years.
She said this was an awesome symposium that would not easily be toped and it
was our last symposium as students, while the first-years will only be
disappointed by future symposiums. After attending every brown symposium since
my freshman year, I can honestly say this was the most interesting symposium I
attended.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bicht Hunter (June 19, 2007). Salt N Pepa - Let'S Talk About Sex (The Original). Retrieved January 30, 2013, from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA
Bicht Hunter (June 19, 2007). Salt N Pepa - Let'S Talk About Sex (The Original). Retrieved January 30, 2013, from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA
